First team · 27 September 2026
Club accountant wins Player of the Month.
Max Adjustment has been recognised after another commanding month between the columns.
From the fictional SHAM FC newsroom
SHAM FC can confirm that Director of Finance Max Adjustment has won the club’s Player of the Month award following a series of outstanding performances under considerable scrutiny.
Adjustment completed 94 per cent of his spreadsheets, recovered possession of three misplaced receipts and produced the decisive assist in a late filing extension. His movement between departments has been described as impossible to track.
Head Coach T. B. Confirmed praised the midfielder’s range: ‘Max sees openings others simply cannot. Usually in the regulations. He gives us another dimension, although the auditors dispute how it has been measured.’
The award presentation will take place behind closed doors. Minutes will not be circulated.